The following is a blow by blow conversation between my husband and me. I’m trying to share more of my thoughts with him so he’s not totally in the dark. More on that another time.
Conversation after a long day
Husband: I’m sooo tired.
Me: I’m tired, too. But, I kind of wish I was exhausted.
Me: Because it comes with mania, you know?
Husband: *Blank, panicked look.*
Me: You know, adrenaline. So you can keep going.
Husband: *Panic subsiding*… ohh!
Anyone else wish for days that were less dragging and more… exhausting? Is it wrong to chase that high? Or is it a low? Or maybe’s that just abnormal? It’s not a precursor for manic depressive disorder, is it? I’m NOT going to google that, just in case. I really don’t want to know.
Coffee just doesn’t seem to cut it anymore, and of course I don’t want a drug high, that’s just not even remotely my style, if you’ve read here for a while you’d realize that. But a long, draggy day is not what I need. I need a burst of energy.
Perhaps it’s the cycling down of my ugly rearing-its-head post-baby menstrual cycle, maybe it’s that it was nearly 100 degrees and 100% humidity for a week followed by a long weekend of rain and now it’s BOTH hot/humid AND raining, or maybe just the setting in of another depressive cycle but at any rate I want BETTER.
I want more energy. I want more fun. I’m taking my vitamins, trying to eat decently, adding in more protein and trying to ignore late night cravings. I just wish I had a good way to bounce back without medication. Make sense to anyone else? Maybe I’ll just print and color Jenny Lawson’s new super secret but not really coloring page! I love reading The Bloggess when I feel like this. Check her stuff out here. If you’ve never read her, start with her post about Copernicus. The stuffed monkey, not the famous guy. Okay, you’re welcome.
I was not asking to do this, just doing it for the love of coloring!