1. I’m listening. I read every post. I find that I don’t need to agree with everything someone says to really, really like them.

    I also find the culling of the friends list a *good* thing, rather than a disaster. I don’t have to have constant affirmation that I’m doing everything right, but I really dislike it when people look at what I’m doing or how things are and decide, based on little snippets they’ve read, that I am doing it all wrong. So I have found people who are like-minded individuals online and IRL and mostly avoid those who aren’t.

    I don’t have a lot of time to invest in superficial relationships, because I invest so much of my*self* in those people I find worth my time.

    You’re a good person and a good mom. Not everyone will agree with how you do things, but guess what?! They’re not you!! You get to make your own life. And not everyone has to like it. Not possible anyway.


    Keep writing. Keep saying whatever you need to say.

  2. I think every mom, especially in the electronic age, loses herself at least for a while. I know I did when my son was young. I started the blog so I’d have somewhere to talk about stuff and most of the time, I got no comments or one or two – it was never a heavily-followed blog. I also kept paper journals where I really said anything I wanted to by writing it down and it didn’t offend anyone… but I also didn’t get much feedback on it. Somewhere in my house is a journal that admits how unsure I was of myself as a mother. That, not liking children much, I wasn’t even sure I should BE a mother. I like children in small groups now and one on one, but big groups of kids drives me crazy. Used to be that ANY kid drove me crazy. Perhaps it was the noise factor. Anyway – I know I’d have been crucified online had I confessed those feelings there, so I kept them to myself. I feel like I censored myself a lot then. My husband wasn’t around much (traveled for work a lot) and when he was home, he was “daddy” or riding or climbing or fishing with his friends. I didn’t feel like I got much of a break when he was home because he wasn’t really home. Things did improve, but it felt like it took a long time. All this to say that what you’re saying and feeling aren’t all that unusual. You just have to get through it and I really don’t think that ends until your kids are older.

    Hang in there, Jill. With three kids, it’ll take longer, but you’ll get there.

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