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My absolute favorite thing to try and eat is any cord, especially if it is plugged into the wall. Bonus points if it’s a laptop cord and it disturbs anyone that is trying to get 5 minutes to look up a recipe, arrange babysitting, or blog. That is my time to shine. I’m not sure if I like the silver plug ins or the actual plugs better. I’ll get back to you on that.
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Remote controls- These are fascinating and must be tasty. It doesn’t matter that no one else puts them in their mouths- if they’re holding them–it must be really good. Even the other kids get to play with it, why not me?!?
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Laptop computers- I love to try and eat the corners of these- lately I’ve taken to sucking on the ports on them if I can- biting them, it is awesome! This is how my dad had to order a new phone, by the way, the side port on it got filled up with baby gook and no amount of dry grains would bring it back to life!
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Shoes- Nothing is better than a kid’s dirty sneaker- unless it’s mom’s flip flop with those little rocks embedded it them from this summer when they finished the road. It’s my goal to swallow one of those things! It’s making me hungry just thinking about it!
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Anything wooden that is not designed for a baby to chew on it- wooden toys? No, no.. you’re missing the point. There’s a reason why when horses chew on their stalls it’s called ‘cribbing’… babies (before plastic coating) used to chew on their cribs, and the name stuck. I like to eat window sills, chair legs or arms, and my favorite- the edge of the fireplace. Mmm!
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A doorknob at appropriate height. Nothing makes me happier than the little door at our house that has a doorknob at just the right height for me to pull up and try and shove the whole thing in my mouth. It’s harder now that I have teeth, but it’s still one of my favorites!
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Paper, cardboard, or anything else my family sets out for recycling. Spreading the mail and my sisters’ artwork across the house is one of my best achievements to date. I once spread the same pile of mail out (including 2 newspapers) 3 times before mom gave up on everything she was doing and just went through it once and for all. I don’t really like the political flyers though- I’m glad voting is over with-very slimy.
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Tags sticking out of anything- yum! I mean, mom got so sick of my oldest sister chewing on tags that she cut out all the tags on the baby toys. She ruined all the fun for anyone else! Thankfully by now she’s relaxed a little bit and the new toys, pillows, and the like all still have their tags. So silky, so smooth, so… *swipes at drool*- sorry what was I saying? Oh yeah, tags!
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Other people- toes are not safe, people. You better wear your shoes… which reminds me, see #4 again. Would you rather have marks in your shoes, or in your feet? Your call.
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Anything that misses the trash can, doesn’t get sucked up by the vacuum cleaner, or hides in a corner that doesn’t get swept on accident. I might eventually show it to you, if you ask really nicely and don’t pry on my mouth too hard, but still, if it’s on the floor, it’s mine! Don’t ask what is in my mouth, you really don’t want to know!
