This weekend was pretty fantastic. The weather was great, my kids cooperated for the most part, I got an impromptu lunch invite with some friends (we’d been trying for months to get together), and between my husband and I, we tackled a LOT of our/my to-do list. Most of this to-do list is basically just rearranging stuff that needs ‘stored’ in our house. An example would be that we’ve kept all our suitcases in our linen closet. Do you know how RARELY we go anywhere? So those are being moved to our long term storage upstairs, and that leaves room for the baby’s bathtub in the bottom of our linen closet. It will be tucked out of the way. Perfect! It had been in long term storage for about a year, and baby is fast approaching, so obviously it was time to do some shifting.
My point is that I feel somewhat refreshed. Now, granted it’s 6 a.m. on Monday as I’m typing and the kids aren’t awake yet! Friday was a REALLY horrible day with my oldest child. Everything was a fit throwing event. What she ate, what she wore, what we did, mom’s tone of voice, little sister’s actions (however innocent)… it all just… pissed her off. You know how much I do NOT need a kid that’s just pissed at the whole damn world right now? About a million percent.
Believe me, I pulled out every stop in the book before finally just yelling at her and punishing her, but after HOURS of nothing but bad attitude and violence (towards me and her sister), I’d had enough. Many people on my page suggested that I needed a break from my child. I added back that perhaps my child just needed to behave. In large part, she just needs an attitude adjustment. If she’d take ANY suggestion I give her, any at all, then we wouldn’t have so many issues. She obviously knows best, though. (is that typical for a pre-schooler?!?) I personally don’t see an issue with her finding a comfy spot and reading for a while. It calms her down, is educational, and fun. Would she have any of that, though? Nope, not even with AWESOME books from our library (and I’m not kidding, they are pretty cool!) She seemed to want to be in the thick of it, and getting into trouble, constantly. Since my personality is the complete opposite, it’s… difficult. Common sense or any brainwave would tell you that if everything you’re doing is getting you into trouble, that perhaps you should do something ELSE that does NOT get you into trouble, and that perhaps your mom or dad (who know a lot!) could offer you some good suggestions. This logic doesn’t apply to small children, apparently, and despite our best efforts to the contrary, it’s a lesson she hasn’t learned yet.
You know who never got a break? My mom and she had 3 kids, took care of a huge garden, canned foods, etc. None of us ever had HOURS of bad attitudes. We got over it and found something to do. So what’s wrong with my family that it just spirals into a huge mess? I confessed on my personal Facebook page that I pretty much felt like a lousy mother (and that everyone else must feel so, too). Despite assurances to the contrary, it was still a horrible day. I know it had been a bad week. My husband worked longer hours because of a project they were working on, I’m working on this new ‘no sugar’ thing, and we’re still trying to do some homeschooling, prep for baby, Halloween, Christmas, you name it. Anything that’s coming up, I’m doing bits and pieces of it at a time. But as far as ‘needing’ a break– it makes me feel lousy– like I’m not ‘enough’ for my kids. Like they need someone to take care of them. Like I’m not doing a good enough job, so obviously someone else should look after them and leave me (poor psychopath) to get my head on straight. Basically, it assumes that *I* am at fault. That there’s something wrong with me and that everyone else on the planet is fine, but just not me. It assumes that my child’s aggressive, mean behavior is perfectly normal and *I* just can’t deal with it and need a grown-up time out.
Quite frankly, I’m not sure how to feel about that. Shouldn’t *I* be upset when my 2 year old gets shoved to the ground for no other reason than breathing? Shouldn’t I be upset when my kid KICKS at me when I’m 8 months pregnant? Don’t I deserve *more* than dirty looks when I present a nice meal 3x a day plus snacks sliced and diced to specifications? Why should ‘why don’t we read for a while instead of fighting over toys’ get me an ‘I hate you’? Shouldn’t my kid be HAPPY for more than 2 minutes first thing in the morning? Is it MY failing, or hers?
My husband thinks she ought to go stay with my mom for a few days. I know she would enjoy some one on one time with her grandparents, but isn’t that just rewarding her awful behavior with a treat? Wouldn’t that be sending the wrong message? Beat the crap out of everyone in your house and voila, you get spoiled with cookies? I just don’t know. Go ahead, talk about it.