It’s rainy and soggy and will be the rest of the week. The kids refuse to nap, eat, or do anything like normal. I spent the morning making a dish for a funeral meal (my husband volunteers weekly with a lady during the school year for K’s club, and her husband lost his second (different) battle with cancer after a short time this week) and delivered it in the rain. I came upon the mourners leaving the service and parked my big arse truck in the road with my flashers on so no one would attempt to disrupt them leaving. So many people ignore this aspect of everyday life. As fleeting as life is, respect those dealing with it when it’s over.
Tragedy seems to be everywhere, and yet spring rises in mists, swirls away underneath a quick frost and begins anew. It’s such a contradiction to hear the birds singing and yet feel so bad about things the birds of the air couldn’t possibly fathom. Friday would have been my due date and yet my arms are empty of squishyness. Sometimes, it hurts to be human.
I was thinking about you yesterday, knowing that your due date was near. Couldn’t remember exactly when. Thought maybe even last week. I wanted to mention it, but didn’t know what to say exactly, you know? Squish those babies you already have a little harder. I didn’t lose my Rachel, but when I thought I had, there were no words to describe how horrid I felt. Holding those little miracles I already had was the only thing that made me feel better during those dark days.
I know you weren’t asking for advice. My thoughts just came out. Hugs 🙂