Everyone says that your kids just all the sudden bam! grow up on you. I’m not sure, sometimes I think that’s true, and sometimes not. I mean, I’m here every day with my big kid, I hear her testing out new words, encourage her to color another page and see her concentrate on different parts now instead of just scribbling away, and her casual ‘what did I miss?!?’ when she goes to get a drink during movie night could be uttered by a 16 year old just as easily. I’m all at once shocked that she’s out of diapers and willing her to just do things by herself already.
I suppose that’s the beauty of this age. They want so much to be big but still need that extra attention now and again because their fingers are too fumbly or socks too wiggly or arm holes in coats are just out of reach. The last week or two I’m hearing a lot more ‘thank you’s’ and ‘I love you THIS much’ and ‘I’d appreciate it if you’d’ and ‘it’s okay mommy’ when I say I can’t do something immediately or I’ve made my own mess. I guess those little lessons are finally starting to pay off. Actually I’d kind of like to freeze them where they are, both kids. They can finally play together a very little bit, one is self sufficient, the other just toddling around and trying out all kinds of new things. I guess that’s what this blog is for. To freeze them at this moment, capture their essence in a few words. Evoke memories of time gone by, when there aren’t toys all over the floor or candy isn’t doled out for a surprise treat met with a huge smile, when their shoes are bigger than mine and they rest their chins on my shoulder instead of coming up to my belly button.
When I whisper ‘can I keep you?’ and they nod, I know it’s a lie, but for a moment my heart is full and broken all at once.