How to really get a man’s attention: Stop shaking your @ss and use your brain

I’m certain that there have been and will be hundreds of posts like this one in the past and in the future. This one may not be the best. It may only have 2 people read it. If it helps spread a message, though, I’ll be glad that I wrote it.

It’s time ladies. It’s time to quit worshiping the ladies that wear hooker’s clothing on stage, grinding their hips and pretending like they give a crap about women. They don’t. They don’t care that you work out to their songs, that you feel inadequate when you see ‘how GOOD she looks, and she JUST had a baby’.. (and by the way, why is that the ultimate conversation ‘finisher’ for people?, who gives a crap if/when she had a baby?) That woman? She’s guided on what to wear to make men go wild. To make girls want to be her, because obviously, she makes men go wild… and isn’t that what every young woman wants? To have a man adore her?* I even had a seemingly sane person say that they would wear ‘that outfit’, you know, that one from the Superbowl halftime show? Yup they’d wear that to the GROCERY store. Because obviously she had a baby a year ago, so she HAS to wear nada on stage in order to ‘show off’. What? If anyone other than Be~once (or let’s face it, a hooker), wore that outfit to the grocery store, they’d be laughed at. We’ve come so far as women, only to fall prey to the same old crap that held us back years ago. Here’s box, you fit in it, or you’re nothing. Now we all know it isn’t true, but we get sucked in anyway. You know what that woman cares about? Not what box she’s helping shove you into, not you, she cares about her personal family and friends, and her brand**. Just like the rest of us. Except we don’t all have a brand that nets us millions of dollars a year.

You know who cares about you? Your moms and grandmas. Your teachers. Your pastors and friends. You. They care about you. That teenager that feels so, empowered! with frilly hearts! by Be~once shaking her barely covered body? You are drinking the WRONG “cool-aid” sweetheart. Sure, wearing that outfit, or something similar is going to get you attention. Maybe from someone you like, but more often than not, from a lot of people you don’t like. That you don’t REALLY want seeing all your nakedness. Your grandma and your mama don’t want everyone seeing it, either. They want a man to see you for who you are, not what secrets a la Victoria you can show him before you even have a first date. There is such a thing as class in this day and age, and dancing nearly naked on stage ain’t a way to show it. Because…. (deep breath)…

You know what guys REALLY like? Jeans and t shirts. You see, guys want someone that can laugh at a good joke. Because she actually understands what it means. They want someone that can learn what a few tools are (if you don’t already know) and help him work on a house or a car to make it new-to-you. They want someone to help them economize, invest, and pick out a menu that will satisfy his picky family or multi-eating styled co-workers coming over tonight, by the way. They want someone to remember their mom’s birthday – and by that I mean get a card or send flowers ahead of time, because they won’t remember until that day. They want someone that can chase kids, or dogs, or them as they train for a marathon. Try doing that in 6 inch heels. You’ll break something in the process and what good comes of that? They want girls that have read some books, will listen when they ramble and can in fact, come up with a decent reply to their musings, no matter what the topic. Every now and then, they actually want you to be smarter than them. So they can be proud and humble, all at the same time. They want you to put on their shirt and flash them a smile. If the guy’s into wearing your leather and lace shorty-short, well, to each his own I guess, but I doubt he’s looking for a woman. In short guys want someone that can use her brains and that shakes her @ss only for him, and usually in the privacy of their own home. That’s classy.

You see a real man wants a partner. You will never be a partner if all you strive to achieve is that a man adores you. Adoration can be broken. It lasts as long as the looks, or as long as you keep your mouth shut in front of his boss, his friends, or his mother once they’ve faded. Then it’s on to someone else, younger, prettier, and just as vacuous. So work it, girl. Your brain. Listen to the sage women (not saying I’m one of them) in your life. Listen to those women who wear the power suits (not the spandex suits), and strive to be someone who loves and is loved for who she is, not one who is adored for a few minutes because of the attractive box you’ve starved, paraded, and generally been forced into wearing for the whole world to see. Instead, be well read, work out, have fun, be well rounded. Love you for you, live for you, and if a man comes along that you feel can be your partner, find a quiet non-camera’d place to shake it, and then spend the rest of the time building a life. Because that is really what is ‘cool, hip, rad, gnarly, hype, sick, killer, tight, dope, sweet, awesome-sauce, and trending’.

 

*unless you’re gay and want a woman to adore you, obviously, but that’s totally not the point

**my point is that if you can sing, you can sing, you don’t have to wear less than 1 yard of fabric to do it. She may or may not have various goals, dreams and ideals of which I don’t know nor do I care to discover. By making herself a celebrity, she could easily take a stand and say, you know what, I’m wearing pants because I don’t have to walk around naked to be an artist. I can get attention by my talent, not my body. Instead, well, I assume you all have seen what I mean. Pick a celebrity or a faux-lebrity, it’s all the same basic principle. Sure she has every right to go around half-naked, but it’s not a good example to be setting, and it puts women’s lib back into the stone ages.