I recently finished the new release ‘the time keeper’ from Mitch Albom. If you’ve seen the movie or read ‘the 5 people you’ll meet in heaven’ or ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’, then you’re familiar with his work. If not, then go pick this book up. 2 strangers meet, in a strange place, time out of time, one wanting to give away time, one wanting to steal time from the future. Who shows them the way? Father time, of course. He is no fairy tale, though, but a disease stricken peasant whose time has frozen for millennium. They all three learn important lessons about time.
I’ll be the first to admit that time flies seems to be the norm around here. I simply cannot WAIT until my husband gets home and I get some time that I’m not packing around a baby, filling a dozen requests for snacks, and just get to sit in PEACE for a little bit. I do feel bad, though, because I don’t want to wish the time away. It seems like that’s what we’re all doing, right? Wishing the baby would just fall asleep, that the husband would come home from a trip, already living for the end of it when it’s just started…It’s not the right thing of course. We should all live in the moment, cherishing all the time we have. It is terribly hard, though. We get so wrapped up in what’s going on (in the world, online, at social functions)…we have to be connected to people all the time, and yet we’re not. We’re just wasting time. Wishing we weren’t standing in line when we have so many other things to do. Oh look Angry Birds*.
Lately I’ve definitely been in a place where I want time to just zoom. At the end of the day, though, I regret it. My husband falls asleep before we really get a chance to talk, my kids are peacefully sleeping, and then… it’s just me. Alone again. With nothing but time…and my thoughts. How I was so impatient that I just yelled at my daughter(s) instead of taking the TIME to help them with whatever they needed. I feel like I’m always saying ‘hurry’ and ‘we don’t have time’…my daughter repeats that often. I just want her to stop dragging her feet, but she’s getting a different message. She’s thinking ‘time is out’ with a negative consequence. Half the time (okay more than that) I just don’t want to deal with whatever is slowing us all down. I’ve been trying to do things differently. I put the baby in the high chair with a snack, and instead of being upset about having to sit there doing nothing, I print out a page for the pre-schooler to color and color along side her, or read her a book, or just chat with her. Sometimes if they are both occupied I slide over and wash dishes, but take frequent breaks to attend to their needs instead of saying ‘hang on a minute’ and then having it be 10 minutes until I’m DONE. It seems like THAT is how this whole stay at home mom gig should be. I always feel like I’m rushing, but what for? 10 more minutes of staring at the computer screen? Hyper fast forwarding a tv show and then having nothing to do for that last 15 minutes anyway (that’s not a chore, that is)…
Why are we rushing? Why am I rushing in particular? I’m really trying to slow things down. Be more patient and guide my thoughts to ‘oh well it will get done at some point’ and putting my seemingly endless string of ‘computer related needs’ on the back burner. It’s become a crutch in this world where it seems everyone works out of the home and no one ‘keeps a home’, being a homemaker is a lost art and I’m trying to get it back. Slowly but surely, I’ll get there. I won’t wish time away, and I’ll try really hard not to ask for any more, given how much I’ve wasted.
*I don’t have a smart phone, but my daughter knows how to play angry birds on a tablet. I feel ancient 😛
p.s. I’ve set this to post at one of my favorite times of day. 11:11. How apropos, seeing as it will also post on 11-11 (2012).