Have you ever had one of those dreams, where you just think, what.the.hell? Yeah, me too. I even share some common ‘dream themes’ with a friend of mine. Crazy how much our brains are alike, when we’re asleep. Some dreams are worse than others, but they are nearly always in color. Once I dreamed about technicolor kittens coming out of a wall. It was awesome. No I wasn’t high. I’ve never been high. Anyway…so I have odd dreams most of the time, if I dream, it’s going to be weird. It’s convoluted, it makes no sense, and is probably out of anxiety, would be my guess. But, I figured, why not share one with you guys, you’ll probably get a giggle. I’ll tell you what happened, and then of course my nighttime pondering of the psychology of dreams (you know the Freud crap which is hysterical, because he WAS most likely high when wrote all his stuff)…
Okay, setting, my parents house, before they remodeled it (I think I feel safe ‘there’ which is why a lot of my dreams are based there).
We (unknown, but likely my niece and my girls, perhaps my husband) are driving down my parents driveway when we see fire (what is burning? something being destroyed? childhood innocence, maybe?)
I ask my niece to take the girls back down the driveway (obviously, getting my kids out of the picture makes my dream move forward, otherwise, I would have spent the whole dream on the phone, calling the house, right? safety mechanism in my brain, for sure)
I go in the house, lots of people there, it is hazy with smoke but they don’t notice and I am dumbfounded, I start telling them the house is on fire to get out! (wanting to be in charge? play the heroine? get ‘MY’ say, because I never do in my family?)
My grandmother and aunt and uncle are there (dead, out of town and unlikely to be there, but they are my godparents, so I’m trying to ‘save’ my past or reconnect?)
I dial 911 and put the phone down (reaching out for help? doing the right thing? atonement for sin? I’m summoning help but not following through…)
Everyone leaves, but only after I look out the back window and see a little girl, lighting fires with a cigar (did something phallic destroy something in my life?)
I ask her why she’s doing this and she says something along the lines of ‘it’s fun’ (desire to destroy? am I the little girl? she is a stranger to me)
I think she’s going to blow up the house, but instead it just burns down while we all watch from afar. The oldest people are the farthest from the fire and out of earshot (desire to connect with those of my own age group, feelings of leaving the older generation behind, or being disconnected from them? is the lack of explosion significant?)
I ask people to borrow their phone or for them to call the rescue squads again, just in case the first call didn’t go through, they deny me, but somehow I send a fax? I can see in my mind, someone reading the fax and also getting it posted on facebook, before someone realizes it’s true and sends the firefighters (modern technology is the solution to our problems? can someone read my mind? Did I send a brain fax? Weird.)
After 45 minutes (very specific time frame) of despair, firefighters arrive to put out the flames, there are large holes burnt through the house, one of them asks for a hammer ( I know him, but don’t have a high opinion of him, why be in a house, with no fire suit, and ask for a hammer? —-this one is beyond me, perhaps I’m feeling like I can’t trust anyone to help, really?)
No one else seems all that concerned, I’m the one upset (anxiety, perhaps coming out in my dreams? could be a feeling of separation or desire to please, but turns out? no one cares that my parents’ house is ruined…perhaps this is a fear of them aging and losing contact with them, not feeling connected enough with the rest of my family?)
So, in short, something phallic destroyed my past, but no one cares. The end. Please comment with what you think of this, or dreams you’ve had and what you think they mean.
Sometimes the dream messages are very clear and one would have to be an obliviot not to ‘get’ it.
But sometimes, dreams are just dreams. Disjointed and weird and senseless.
Funny how they color your whole day, though. How even as the fragments of your dreams melt away, the feeling you got from them lingers.