1. I am constantly amazed by how rude children are these days. I let my son know that if I ever heard of him backtalking an adult (including me – that was the only time he was ever spanked!), there would be severe consequences. My granddaughter tried it with me and I told her that if she couldn’t behave she wasn’t welcome in my house. She is now very polite (at least around me). I’m afraid that I come across as Granny Nasty sometimes (I had one of those too), but she’s learning from me what her own parents are too lazy to teach her. That may be part of the problem. Young parents either don’t know, don’t care, or are too lazy or busy to teach their kids anything about being around other people.

    My own son has been experimenting with swear words. I think that on occasion they’re appropriate – but you have to use the right ones so as to not offend. There’s been quite a bit of correcting lately but he also understands that the penalty of doing things the wrong way is not having friends and not being invited to go anywhere.

    If I had been in your shoes, I’d have stood firm. Offered to call his/her parents to come and get them if they cannot behave in a polite manner. I’ve done that before and it works wonders.

  2. Your house, your rules.

    The eyeroll and rudeness? I would have addressed it, but working with hundreds of kids over the last eight years has given me some confidence. I might have said something like, “You’re right. It was nice of me to give you a cupcake. You’re welcome!”

    I’d find a moment later to take the child aside and tell him or her that I found his or her behavior appalling and that if they were going to act that way, next time I wouldn’t bother with cupcakes.

    And I taught my own children to say thank you. Not everyone bothers, sadly. I can see one of them asking for a second cupcake, but upon being told no, they would have said, “okay” and that would have been it.

    I’m with Sayre.. rudeness would not be tolerated. And telling people who cross that line that they ARE crossing a line isn’t wrong.

  3. Stacy Wolfmeyer

    No, you weren’t out of line. I am perfectly happy being the bad guy in such situations, and would have certainly said something to the child about their behavior. Perhaps that’s the BD teacher in me coming out. We have a couple of kids who come to our house regularly to play with our kids. I have never once complained about their behavior to their parents (except the one time when it was a safety issue – the kid was riding his bike home, wasn’t looking for cars, and nearly got creamed by one of the construction vehicles in the neighborhood. Thank heavens the driver was watching. I was calling out “watch for cars!!!” and his answer was “I can’t watch for cars when I ride my bike.” Eek! – so not a behavior problem, exactly, but certainly something I had to report), but when they are here, they are subject to the same rules as my kids. And if they can’t do it, they leave. They don’t like that. There is one little girl in particular, who is an only child and her attitude reflects it. She is learning that it won’t fly here. I’m not sure if she tells her mom that I’m mean, but she keeps coming over and keeps inviting Lauren there, so it can’t be that bad. You are an adult and you are not out of place to say something to those children.

    And if you find this is a common problem with treats, nip some of it in the bud right away by saying “this is it.” If you’d like, you can add “if you are still hungry when you are done, please help yourself to as many carrot sticks/cheese/ fruit (whatever you have) that you’d like.”

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