Talk about it Tuesday: Finding time for a fling
Now, don’t get your panties.. errr boxers in a wad. I mean with your spouse or significant other. How do you ‘do it’… make time, take time, schedule time? A survey (undisclosed people, but I’m guessing it was all single New Yorkers based on where the announcement of this was)… said that people enjoy marital type relations 7 times a month and that foreplay lasts 20 minutes. If you have small children at home, when is the last time you had 2o minutes (that you were not sleeping) in a row for ANYTHING let alone THAT!?!
It’s been a VERY long time around here, I can tell you that much.
I had a commenter say very sweetly on my facebook page that with her one baby she has plenty of it and they schedule it.
1. Good for her
2. Your kid is not my 2 KIDS and your spouse is not my spouse and your apartment or whatever is not our 8 acres that needs mowed twice a week with no help thankyouverymuch
IT’S NOT THE SAME PEOPLE.
Meh. That’s how I feel about that.
borders jumps right on to TMI…. so read it if you dare…
Then again I’ve had what could pass for a ‘drive’ for a couple of months before we got married (where we didn’t.. you know).. and then 8 years later once I was off the pill (I’m not kidding, I really mean 8 years) it came back for a bit and then I was pregnant and nursing for 3 years and then it came back for a couple of months and now..yeah 2 years into pregnant and nursing pretty much. Now in those 8 years the few days I was off the pill a month could kind of pass for something. But only kind of… so when you think of it that way, 7 times a month is like.. huge. I can’t even imagine that. Seriously. Once? We heard that 4x a week was good for your health? We almost died. And no, we didn’t have kids at that point. We’ve been married for 11 years and I bet there’s 14 year olds out there that have more experience than we do. Add in the fact that I’m not ‘on’ anything, and he’s not a huge fan of ‘protection’, added to the fact that unlike seems like every other person on earth, the fact that I’m still breastfeeding every 2 hours all day long doesn’t keep my period away. So subtract 7 days for that and 5 days to avoid the fertile time. That’s 12 days gone. Even on an average month, that’s still a lot of time out, added to the fact that he’s been on business trips for 2-5 days several times a month, it really kind of takes the time that might have been good for sneaking a cuddle. We do the best we can, but I’m guessing we’re closer to 2x/month than 7.
My husband is in line for sainthood. Even though Keeley was gone over our anniversary, we didn’t even get a chance to go out to dinner alone (meaning even with the baby). It just didn’t happen. The last time it did, I think it was probably 2 years ago for our anniversary. Yup the last time we ate dinner alone was two years ago. Before that it was about 2 years, as well, we were saving up for a house so we never went out to eat.
We rarely even get a chance to talk to each other. We’ve skirted close to overdoing our budget because neither knew what the other one was spending or paying on bills. That’s scary. I mean, you have to know our kids to really get it. The big one runs her mouth 24/7, she even talks in her sleep. The little one feeds off of the big one on a continual basis. It’s never quiet.
I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time being ‘fling-y’ with someone I rarely get a chance to talk to and haven’t ‘dated’, if that makes sense. And if there is a rare occasion we get a chance to talk, we wouldn’t also have time to.. well, you know. So I suppose our foreplay is several days to week(s) long. If you can call saying ‘hey did you pay this bill?’ as sexy.
So come on, talk about it: How do you find the time? Would scheduling really ‘WORK’ for you? I don’t know about you, but kids in this house don’t give a crap if we’ve decided that tonight we want to ‘cuddle’. That’s the time they puke on the floor, bust through the best diaper imaginable, and require everyone to get new clothes, sheets, stomachs, and noses. Sexy, right?