Thoughts on a Thursday: What to say/what not to say
I know no one ever means bad by congratulating someone on having a natural childbirth, but to those of us who labored for hours, and tore over and over, only to be sewed up and torn again, and told, sorry, baby won’t come out, it’s like being stabbed. Everyone thinks you ‘gave up’ or ‘asked for it’.. I would have done anything (and did) I pushed while the nurses were out of the room, I asked for the vacuum when I knew it was no good, pushed harder than anyone else had even seen my doctor push, for HOURS.. and it didn’t make a damn difference. The circumstances were against me from the start both times. I have 2 beautiful (BIG!) girls, but feel miserable every time I hear someone say ‘way to go’ to a naturally birthing mom. If you want to say something about it, say it privately, otherwise, those of us who had no choice, who were screwed over by mother nature or whatever are going to feel like crap.
When my husband’s father died last spring, ‘they’ chose NOT to tell him that his dad had already passed. Instead they said he was ‘really bad off’ and to get there as fast as he could. REALLY? My husband made a 2 hour drive in 45 minutes. His dad had been dead for 2 hours before they even called him. WTH people? I was PREGNANT and had a toddler. You think it’s really F*****G smart to endanger his life in that situation? He could have come home and I could have driven him to be with the family. Tell the damn truth.
I try REALLY hard to only say what is needed, so that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings… if something DOES need said, then I try to make the best decision possible so there’s no harm done.