If only real life was more like college…
I’d be so happy. Not that I’m not content. In college, though, I felt like I had a purpose. People looked up to me, I had things to fight for, I had friends right down the hall I could just ‘tap tap’ and have another person’s perspective. Life was simple. As amazing and eye opening as college was for this sheltered little girl, it was ‘home’ for me, too. On rare occasions, I feel like I’m home. I have some girl friends that get together now and again, but they all have jobs, or school, and kids, and busy spouses…
… life was so much more simple when everyone was single and stayed in their own rooms most of the time. They were never too hard to find, no question ever seemed like a bother.
Maybe that’s it. I feel like I bother people now. Half the time I don’t even get answers to questions I post on here, on facebook, wherever..
I feel like I have plenty of time and no one else does. Granted if you asked me, I would say I had no time at all, the kids run me ragged..
… but I do feel like a bother. I gave up talking to my mom about things for the most part. Didn’t feel like she was really listening. Too much else going on. My husband is completely checked out, when I landed on a show tonight that was on commercial, he got up and left the room and hasn’t been back. On his computer. I’m sure he’s wildly entertained, but I’m bored. Not bored enough to go do chores, but bored. I like all of my new friends but new relationships are so tenuous, and how much can you really reveal to ‘new’ people? My ‘old’ friends have babies and take family vacations and ‘go’ non-stop. I’m busy, but it’s at home. No fun vacations for me. They volunteer and have jobs and participate in all kinds of activities, and I have no idea where they get their energy.
In college I could just take a nap and have instant energy.
Now I’m just praying for more than 4 hours of sleep that isn’t interrupted by someone crying, screaming, puking, needing to eat, or my own incessant ‘well what if this happens’ that goes ON AND ON AND ON in my head so I can’t fall asleep. I gave up a nap today to mow around the house, all that got me was a screaming kid that woke up the baby. Damned if you do. If real life was more like college, I’d simply walk down the hall, share my problems, get a new perspective and fall into a deep dreamless sleep.
Life is not like college. Only college is.