Quickly put together for a snack the other day. Hopefully one day the little things will be appreciated. Right now I dont’ get much thanks. A smile from Brennan, and that’s about it. I never really considered the ‘hardship’ that motherhood takes on your emotions and well being. Everyone talks about not feeling like you’re worth anything if you’re not working, and the stress of it, but I equated it to a job. Oops, there are no days off. There are no nights off. There are no weekends off. Time off is not possible. Your brain never quits going, you feel insecure at the slightest mention that something is ‘wrong’ with your kids, etc. Obviously, it’s my fault if there is failure. I’m here 24/7. While I don’t think there is anything wrong, sometimes it sure feels that way. Can anyone really be that cranky ALL THE TIME? *sigh* I think the real problem lies in the fact that my husband and I haven’t had 10 minutes of quiet together in what seems like forever. We chatted a bit in the hospital 4 months ago. Ever since then it’s been all loud all the time. By the time the girls are put to bed, we’re both exhausted. I know other moms magically get fairies to come and take care of their kids, but that doesn’t happen for us. I don’t suppose it will for a while, but I’m sitting here watching my kid say ‘I love you SO MUCH’ to her baby sister. I’m going right somewhere, right? We’ll have time together when they’re grown. As long as we can still smile through diaper changes and laugh through the grossness of spit up, I guess we’ll be alright.
We only have one baby but I feel as though the hubs and I never have time alone together. When he gets home from work I hand him the baby, cook dinner, and do some cleaning around the house. At 7 I start bedtime and hubs goes to bed by 8. Tonight we actually sat on the couch snuggled together for the first time since before g was born. As happy as it made me, it made me sad to realize it’d been that long.
They DO grow up. And the foundation you built between you before you had children is what gets you through the time they spend growing. When you do get time to just be a couple again, you’ll find that what you built is still there. And that you can build more on top of it.
I promise. You will look back on this time fondly, sometimes be melancholy that it was over so soon, and watch your babies become adults and go off into the world without you.
Just taking the time for a long hug, an ‘I love you’, or a laugh over baby barf or poop really does make a difference.
I promise. I do.
You’d be amazed at the things they will remember about their childhoods. They may not always be conscious of it when they grow up, but odd little memories will pop out at the most interesting times. Christmas memories and family traditions are always close this time of year, but when I was thinking about going to visit an older friend for tea, I suddenly remembered the “teas” my mom made for us when we were kids. It was a little tea and mostly milk with sugar, but she made our tea special by adding a drop or two of food coloring so that we’d have green tea or red tea or blue tea (somehow, yellow tea didn’t quite work as it was usually that color anyway). Not something I think of or even remember all the time, but it popped into my head this morning. It happens a lot and I realize just how much my mom did to make our days special when we were little. Yours will remember the funny snacks and the dinner faces – I’d be willing to put money on it!
It gets batter – as they get a little older and don’t require your attention 24/7.
As much crap as SAHM’s get I’m still glad I stayed home – there are days when I can’t imagine how anything would get done if I had to work out of the house. There would never be any fun to be had – just me coming home, cooking and cleaning and putting kids to bed. At least during the day, I do get those 5-10 minutes here and there to play with my kids. – to just “be” there for them. I hope it makes a difference in what type of adults they turn into.
And my husband and I get 6 dates a year – when we have a play (season tickets). We have to drive to Portland and spend the night at Grandma’s house. But, at least it is a couple hours for us to hang.
One other thing I would like to say is that instead of tniryg to suit all your online degree training on days of the week that you end work (since most people are exhausted when they return), try to have most of your classes on the week-ends and only 1 or 2 courses on weekdays, even if it means taking some time away from your weekend. This is really good because on the saturdays and sundays, you will be extra rested and concentrated for school work. Thanks alot : ) for the different points I have discovered from your blog.