He opted not to go to church this morning, so the rest of us stayed home, too. Sang the required ‘leaving on a jet plane’– and he said he knew when he’d be back. I held back and let he and Keeley have some extra time together while I cleaned up a bit. He put her to bed and then helped me change Brennan’s diaper and kissed us both goodbye. I shed tears silently and took care of the kids. I watched the airport ticker flash ‘boarding’ for quite some time, and then solidify to departed. His plane is up in the air. Keeley and I waved out the window and blew kisses. She’s sure he got them. I prayed, of course, selfish, heartfelt prayers for his safe flight and safe return. That he felt our love. That it warmed his heart.
This is not the first time we’ve been apart, but the first time with 2 kids, and definitely a long stretch at that. We’ve been apart longer, but then I had a job to do that didn’t allow my mind to wander as much. I went to the gym after work, and ate my soup or sandwich and watched tv. I could stay up late to talk if I wanted, no one would notice if I was a little bleary eyed, I could always nap the next day. Not so now. There will be more bustle with kids, more hassle, more hurry. More love. More worry. More missing, more tears. More hiding my fears. It’s definitely an afternoon for the blues.