Now is as good a time as any to clue you in, that by around 3 p.m. every weekday, if my husband has not come home, my oldest daughter turns into a royal witch. Give her a crown and a broom, and no one would be able to tell the difference, I assure you. She loves her daddy, and she wants him home after her nap, darnit! Unless I ply her with snacks and her favorite TV shows, she generally does everything she can to GET into trouble so I will yell at her. I have no idea why. It’s not like I don’t pay attention to her, but usually at this time, I’m trying not to be paranoid about the fact that he’s not home yet. What if his car ran off the bridge, what if there was an accident, what if he’s decided 3 girls in the house is too much and he’s leaving us, what am I not doing right that he doesn’t want to come home? It’s terrible. I do everything I can to shake these feelings off, but they at best put me in a bad mood. So it’s not surprising that my child’s irritation (and my irritability) skyrocket between 2:15 and whenever my husband actually gets home. Once he’s able to talk to her a little bit, she will calm down, and I will be able to (hopefully) go get dinner done, clean up a little bit, go through the mail, etc.
Why am I telling you this? Because in 2 weeks? My husband will be gone. For a week. I’ll be 2 days into a huge, horrible tantrum that probably won’t end until he gets home. There’s not enough TV or treats in the world to stop that hurt, there’s really not. I found that when he was gone at times before, I missed him terribly the first day, but then got used to doing things on my own, and often was a lot calmer knowing I didn’t have anything to ‘do’ except for myself. Now that I have TWO kids to look after and no one to help? Yeah I’m SO not looking forward to it. Now. Could we have gone with him to his conference? Yes, yes we could have. But imagine trapping yourself in a hotel room in an unfamiliar city with a tantrumy 3 year old and a newborn whose diapers you need to figure out how to wash, and who will need more ‘stuff’ than the other 3 of us put together.. yeah, not seeing that, either. I figured I could get my mom and dad to come down and stay for a day or two, after all, now that my brother’s family lives out at the farm now, someone could take care of the animals… but apparently, they aren’t digging that. So I’ll be doing it all on my own.
If you hear a scream echoing across the universe in a couple weeks, don’t worry, it’s just me losing my mind.