Now is as good a time as any to clue you in, that by around 3 p.m. every weekday, if my husband has not come home, my oldest daughter turns into a royal witch. Give her a crown and a broom, and no one would be able to tell the difference, I assure you. She loves her daddy, and she wants him home after her nap, darnit! Unless I ply her with snacks and her favorite TV shows, she generally does everything she can to GET into trouble so I will yell at her. I have no idea why. It’s not like I don’t pay attention to her, but usually at this time, I’m trying not to be paranoid about the fact that he’s not home yet. What if his car ran off the bridge, what if there was an accident, what if he’s decided 3 girls in the house is too much and he’s leaving us, what am I not doing right that he doesn’t want to come home? It’s terrible. I do everything I can to shake these feelings off, but they at best put me in a bad mood. So it’s not surprising that my child’s irritation (and my irritability) skyrocket between 2:15 and whenever my husband actually gets home. Once he’s able to talk to her a little bit, she will calm down, and I will be able to (hopefully) go get dinner done, clean up a little bit, go through the mail, etc.
Why am I telling you this? Because in 2 weeks? My husband will be gone. For a week. I’ll be 2 days into a huge, horrible tantrum that probably won’t end until he gets home. There’s not enough TV or treats in the world to stop that hurt, there’s really not. I found that when he was gone at times before, I missed him terribly the first day, but then got used to doing things on my own, and often was a lot calmer knowing I didn’t have anything to ‘do’ except for myself. Now that I have TWO kids to look after and no one to help? Yeah I’m SO not looking forward to it. Now. Could we have gone with him to his conference? Yes, yes we could have. But imagine trapping yourself in a hotel room in an unfamiliar city with a tantrumy 3 year old and a newborn whose diapers you need to figure out how to wash, and who will need more ‘stuff’ than the other 3 of us put together.. yeah, not seeing that, either. I figured I could get my mom and dad to come down and stay for a day or two, after all, now that my brother’s family lives out at the farm now, someone could take care of the animals… but apparently, they aren’t digging that. So I’ll be doing it all on my own.
If you hear a scream echoing across the universe in a couple weeks, don’t worry, it’s just me losing my mind.
Oh, I don’t envy you that week at all. So sorry your folks can’t come visit since Keeley seems to love when they come. I think you need to prepare her though so that it won’t be such a shock when Daddy doesn’t come home. She might surprise you (fingers crossed that she will!).
We’ve had our Matt gone for a week at a time before… It isn’t fun, but you WILL be able to do it. I bet Keeley will adjust, too. As a bonus, it will all seem so EASY when he returns, at least for a day or two. 🙂
I feel your pain. Last summer my husband was gone about 50% of the time. His “no travel required” job has turned out to be not so much. Crossing my fingers his trip for tomorrow is canceled! My 6 1/2 year old is “strong willed” and if she senses any weakness, she exploits it. It’s awful. 🙁
Just take it one day at a time. That’s all you can do. If I made it through the day and my kids didn’t end up killing each other or me killing them, then I consider it a success. 😉
Having a husband that travels – I feel your pain. All I can say is to only worry about the important things. Beds don’t get made? so what. Dishes aren’t done – so what. Seriously, with a new baby and 3 year old – just do what you need to do to get by!!! Just do what you can do to keep SANE. And – get yourselves out of the house too. That helps a lot! Run errands that don’t require energy (like running to PetSmart just to look at all the fish, birds, and little creatures they have). And remember – early bedtime is okay when Daddy is gone!! You will need that extra 30 minutes of downtime for yourself!!!
And I dont’ know about you – but b/n 2-4pm is the witching hour. I’m tired. The kids are tired. (that is usually the time I start craving chocolate too – it’s a horrible time to be awake).
Oh no, good luck! My husband has been working a lot of overtime lately, leaving me at home with my 4 week old baby all day and well into the evening. I’m the one who nearly throws a tantrum when he gets home exhausted and wants to go to bed.
Been there, done that, went crazy most of the time I was doing it. I’m sorry for what lies ahead! You WILL make it. Focus on when he’ll be home. In two weeks, you’ll be a single mom for a week, but in 3 weeks, he’ll be home. That has helped me in the past.
I’ve also done the “stay at the hotel with the kids” thing. Sometimes it has gone better than others. You’d probably just need to do disposable diapers if you joined him. Where is he going? Can you join him for a portion of the week?
I was also thinking your parents could come for a couple of days. Mark’s parents have come once in a while when I’ve been in this situation. I guess that’s a no go, though. What about you going there for the week? Or a few days of the week? OR letting Keeley go there for a few days of the week withOUT you and B? She did great when people came when B was born, she’d probably do fine again.
Take a day trip or two on your own. I don’t think I can get to Springfield in two weeks, but Trish may be able to host you for a day.
Let her watch more tv. It’s okay. Turn on a Sesame Street or Little Mermaid or whatever and watch it together the best you can. Have jammy days. Get out the craft box and let her cut or glue or whatever….I suggest BEFORE bath time 🙂 Take a bath together while B is napping (Lauren and I have been doing that once in a while since we moved here. It’s nice, when she keeps her toes to herself), get some premade cookie dough (to save on mess) and let her “make” the cookies, fold out the couch (if you have a fold out) or bring in lots of pillows and blankets onto the living room floor and have a camp out. Have popcorn for dinner one night (if you give her popcorn yet) . Break the rules. It’s okay for Keeley to see that sometimes, we just do things differently. WHile Daddy is away, his girls will play!!
And as for worrying about him getting home, or wondering when he’ll get home, why can’t he call from his cell phone when on his way? Mark calls every night when he’s walking out the door, and has for the past 6 1/2 years. It started as a way to let me know he’s on his way and to go ahead with dinner, but now it also gives me a few minutes on the phone to get out my frustrations or tell him things I need to tell him without the kids interrupting. but BEST of all, it allows me to tell the kids that Daddy is on his way home. They can start looking for him in X number of minutes. I suggest he starts calling you. And then let Keeley talk for a few minutes. It may backfire and make her a mess until he gets home. If that’s the case, I would have him call when he’s 20 minutes away or something close like that (his drive is over an hour, right?), and see if she can handle that better. Hopefully, though, she’ll know that Daddy is on his way, and talking to him for a few minutes will tide her over. Maybe she would be interested in spending that time waiting for him by coloring him a picture, or getting something ready specifically to show him when he gets home. There is no need for you to wonder when he’s going to be home. You won’t always know when he leaves, but with such a drive, it’s fair to let you know when he’s on his way.
I’ll do my part and try to be good about playing my turn in our games!!!
HUGS!!
-Stacy