I don’t know how long I’ll do this, but this is basically a randomy rambling post about life after baby. If you’ve just had one, or are expecting one, might be we find some common ground. If you’ve long past, it’ll bring back ‘oh yeah, I remember that’ memories.. fond or not.
My hair is starting to fall out. Shed. I hate that. It’s getting all over both girls. Ugh. It’s not awful, or patch balding or anything, just starting to loosen up and let go. So much for washing our laundry together, bad idea.
I think my eyes are back to normal, I was having REALLY bad eyesight, not really fuzzy, but I only noticed it while driving, EVERYONE in the other lane? Was in my lane. It was weird. They, obviously, were not really in my lane, but it looked like it. I did a lot of swerving and ‘jeez people, move over’ in the last few weeks on our back country roads.
I’m remembering to shower every day, and I’m better at teeth brushing this time around than with Keeley. I swear if I remembered to brush my teeth once a week with her, it was awesome. I go to the bathroom a lot less now, which is awesome.
I still have stitches. I accidentally pulled on one today. It still hurts. I figured I had stitches that dissolve, but if so? They haven’t done so yet. Also? They itch like crazy. You know, you can’t really scratch ‘there’. Jeez. What we don’t go through to become mothers. Also my incision seems to be healing more slowly than any of my others, there’s one spot that still seems ‘open’, which annoys me and I put a bandaid on it every day or so. Kind of like the teeth thing. It’s what I have time for. Priorities, right?
I haven’t tried my regular jeans yet. My maternity jeans are fairly loose, but my incision is in a bad spot, of course. I’m wearing nursing tanks pretty much all the time. If they are all dirty, I curse, start a load of laundry, and wear a stretched out bra. The tanks are so much easier. It’s chilled down quite a bit here, so I’m wearing an open sweater a lot, too. Better than freezing or taking a hoodie off and on so many times.
My desperate hunger has lessened, I only sneak in the
occasional daily candy bar (and those are almost gone), and my weight, I thought had plateaued, has dropped a few more pounds. I don’t expect that to last, I really don’t. Winter will settle in and I probably won’t get to move around quite as much. I’m anxious for B’s neck to strengthen up, so that I can pack her around in a sling soon. Walking the stroller up the hill makes her fat cheeks bounce a little too much. Gravel is hard on baby stroller wheels!
I’m cranky, still. Not nearly as bad or as crying type as the first couple of weeks (I think I had about 3 teary outbreaks during that time, just not able to hold it together–again, much better than with Keeley)– I think I say ‘shut up’ or ‘be quiet’ or ‘for the love of God will you please shut your mouth’ ALL DAMN DAY. My almost 3 year old has been threatened with bludgeoning if she wakes her sister. There is a good reason for this. Did you read about her? She never wants to stop eating or be put down. Sometimes? Mama needs a little bit of peace and quiet! I still feel awful about it, and I try and curb it — I pray about it every day at dinner, and count my blessings I have a healthy family at night, but my older girl will just not stop talking the WHOLE day long. Some of it? I think is dream chatter. She dreams something and thinks it really happened. A lot of it? Is also back talk. No I WON’T do this or that. Usually she’s brave while I’m feeding B because she knows I won’t put her down to come do anything to her. The most awful thing is the fit throwing. She throws a fit, and then throws another fit when getting punished. She at LEAST understands that it’s the wrong thing to do and will sometimes say she is sorry, but seriously? One more ‘I want to wear the BLUUUUUUE shirt, not the ORAAANGE one’ fit and I will probably lock her in her room for a year. We had a discussion about things that were important versus not important at bedtime the other night. Right about the time we had the blue versus orange shirt fit.
This? Is life with an almost 3 year old and a newborn. The toddler throws fits all day long, so you’re constantly shushing them, if they’d just be quiet for 10 minutes, the baby would fall asleep, and then they’d get whatever they wanted, but instant gratification is still utmost in the mind of a kid that age, or at least MY kid anyway. I say ‘please be patient’ a lot, too. Don’t think it won’t happen to you. It will. Somehow, you have to choose between getting the big kid a drink, when they’ve just downed a whole glass of milk, and feeding the newly awakened baby, who DOES need something to eat/drink–and the big kid loses. Every time. I do try and preempt this as much as possible, by pouring a glass of milk whenever I’m up, and setting a standard time for the baby to eat, but life is unpredictable, I can’t make the baby wake up when I want her to, so sometimes? The big kid loses, and that’s when the drama begins. Also, teach them to wipe their own butt and wash their hands before the new baby comes. I can’t stress that enough. Sigh.
I haven’t been where you are. Yeah, I have two kids. It’s different for everyone. Mine are almost exactly six years apart, which helps.
Hang in there. I can see flashes of humor in your writing even though I know you’re sleep deprived (or is that depraved?)
I would love to say it ‘gets easier’. That is what I wanted to hear. But it doesn’t. At least your’s is old enough TO talk. Mine is two and essence, still a baby. The constant nursing time crying, fit-throwing, color-on-the-walls-cuz-mommy-won’t-get-me…it lasts. However – you DO get better. You learn how to be prepared, you learn to give quality time to the older when the baby is down (which doesn’t make THEM feel the pain less when you have the baby, but at least makes YOU feel better), you learn to nap when the baby is down while the older one snuggles with you in bed watching cartoons. (never mind that you never were going to allow that) One day you wake up, and the baby is big enough to get around on her own and is sleeping through the night (even if you can’t) and you realize, YOU CAN DO THIS.