It’s coming, in about 14 weeks, my baby girl will go from being ‘the only’ to ‘the oldest’. I’ll be listening for 2 little voices in the grocery store, at church, or at grandma’s house. I’ll have 2 armfuls of love.
I’ll be so busy I won’t know which end is up.
… but I will wonder, what if we’d only had HER? Don’t get me wrong, we’re all excited about baby #2 coming along, but what if Keeley had been an only child? Certainly she would have gotten more ‘stuff’. Going forward, she would have had more time, money, and one-on-one attention to devoted to her. At some points I have to think, are we doing right by her? Is giving her a sibling a gift or a lifelong ticket to torture? Will she blame us? Will she hate us? Will she hate ‘it’? or will she be just as happy and well adjusted with a sibling? I don’t have a crystal ball. I’m not sure I would want one anyway. We were getting into a good groove, the 2 of us. we played, we ate, we danced, we laughed. Then came the never-ending sickness, the headaches, the popping vitamins, tylenol and tums. She could no longer barrel into me at full steam. She has to hear ‘don’t do that you could hurt the baby’– it’s sad but true, she’s a little rambunctious
sometimes so if we’re not careful, we get hurt around here. All of us.
What can I do to help her? Should I do anything at all? Do I distance myself from her play even further so she doesn’t expect it, or should I soak up the last few weeks that I have, on the floor, tears in my eyes knowing that for better or worse, this is the end of her ‘me’ time? She’s old enough to know the difference. She’s old enough to care. She’s old enough to be jealous and angry and spiteful about the whole thing. It doesn’t necessarily mean she will be, but who could blame her?