I have been trying not to worry. About anything. It wakes/keeps me up at night and I need all the sleep I can get. Yesterday, though, Keeley didn’t use the toilet until about 10 am. She had a wet overnight diaper and I didn’t think much of her not going first thing in the AM, she seems determined not to sit there, and I don’t want her screaming first thing. I guess maybe that’s selfish on my part. Usually, if I stick her up there, she’ll go. Yesterday, though, she wouldn’t go before nap, either. So once in the morning. Is that unusual for a toddler in potty training stages? Particularly one who doesn’t want to be interrupted to use the bathroom, when life is so much more fun? I just don’t know. She didn’t drink much yesterday, either, because I was restricting her food. For a few days now, she’s been refusing to eat  some of her meals and trying to eat only fruit and skip everything else. Is it her teeth? Is she just being a 2 year old? Hard to tell. So needless to say, she ate less (but maybe similar calories?) because she wasn’t grazing all morning. However, she still had a piece of toast loaded with jam, an egg, and part of a piece of ham (why she’s refusing ham is beyond me, that’s what makes me think maybe her teeth?)…

So she had a cup of juice and a little bit of milk instead of a cup of juice and about 2.5 cups of milk. I gave her water with lunch and she didn’t drink much of that. Typically, she’ll gulp milk and then perhaps not want to eat as much since her belly is full. So I had switched to giving her water with meals. Anyway, I guess she finally went pee when her dad came home, although I was sitting in the kitchen and didn’t hear her. She went again later, again, I didn’t hear her, and usually you can hear the stream from across the room. I wonder if she was leaking it more than a steady stream, or if she just really hadn’t taken in enough fluid.

Of course, since we STILL don’t have a water softener, I had to do something about her diapers. They were giving her a slight irritation (if you don’t use enough soap , or if the soap doesn’t rinse out fully–that happens–hard water makes diapers almost impossible to clean)… anyway…so I bleached them. I used a little bit in the wash and did a huge wash cycle with nothing and an extra rinse behind it. Apparently that wasn’t enough, she got a couple of little bumps on her rear. Fabulous. Plus, I’d used a wet ‘toilet paper’ wipe a couple of times in the morning to ‘refresh’ her hiney after the diaper came off–you know the kind with perfume…and she had a bubble bath.

So.. the question is.. is she holding it in because it hurts, or was she sitting there bawling last night because she’d already peed in the tub unbeknownst to us and she really didn’t need to go? I gave her a bath and she didn’t flinch at all when being washed, so it’s hard to tell. Had she really just had that little to drink and had pee run down her cheeks instead of squirting out like a fire hose, or is there something really wrong? The only thing I can think of (UTI) says that kids will pee excessively, and she was having the opposite problem. Or is it a problem? I know while she’s been potty training she was refusing to ‘go’ elsewhere, but she seemed to be doing better about that. I was specifically worried she’d get an infection from holding it in too long, so of course I’ve been staying at home when I’d really like to do a lot of things (like go buy a water softener)…we have to time everything perfectly so she’s not dancing or wetting herself on accident while we’re out.

With this pregnancy, and her new found toilet freedom, I’d been ‘letting her go’ the last few days, and she told me when she had to go. I thought this was normal and fine, even though she was holding it a bit longer than I would choose for her to do, but hey, it’s her body. My body is pregnant and thinks it has to go all the time, so it’s hard for me to judge.

Battle plan for (later) this morning is to check her diaper, if it’s dry to wait until her doctor opens and take her in. Then I get to explain the bleach in the diapers, the perfumey wet wipe, and the bubble bath. All possible causes of irritation. It’s the diaper thing that pisses me off. It was a necessary step–she was being irritated by the ammonia in her urine due to build up. It happens to kids whose parents have hard water and don’t take steps to resolve it. That’s on us. Specifically it’s on me. I should have rinsed the diapers one more time, etc. Luckily, I washed most of the affected diapers (she’s only using 7 at the moment) again yesterday, with a double wash and huge double rinse, which should take care of any lingering bleach issues. My fervent hope is that she just really didn’t have to go much yesterday and that overnight, she’ll have wet, and back to normal today.

She’s SUCH a healthy kid. This is ALL on me. I take care of her every day. I was so busy trying to figure out how to get her to only eat at meal time, or at least get her to EAT certain things at meal time, that I didn’t pay enough attention to her fluid input/output yesterday. Maybe I should have taken her then. UTI’s are NOT uncommon in kids her age. I’ve been so lucky not to have issues with that. However, I will assume they would give her antibiotics, which will give her a yeast infection. Which means no cloth diapers. And I’m assuming more treatment. Did I mention that I don’t really like using disposable diapers on her, particularly since she only wears one at night and we haven’t purchased any since she was SIX months old?  Do I really want to pay $20 to get one or two diapers for her and then have a whole pack of diapers that are completely pointless to us otherwise? Seems kind of stupid. I do have a couple of ‘disposable’ inserts that I could use–I’d have to drag them out of the bowels of her closet. Again, I hate them.

I may go and buy her some cranberry juice just in case, first thing in the morning. It can’t hurt her, since she typically has juice 1/day anyway, to substitute cranberry instead of orange or something else. I don’t want to wait too long, since it’s Friday, and we had plans for this weekend. They could easily be rearranged, but still.

I have my US next week and of course I’ve been focused on that, and prayers for a healthy baby, and all that seemed to get me is a toddler that refused to pee.  Possibly with pain, but that’s hard to tell.  I gave her tylenol last night, hoping that if she had some contact pain due to irritation of the wet wipe, bleach, or bubble bath, that it would go away  after a regular bath, overnight and she’d feel better this morning.

Update: Completely wet diaper at 4 a.m. No bumps/redness. Score! She didn’t seem sore or anything. I used a wipe and washed and patted her dry and put some sweatpants on her (no diaper!) She woke up at 6:30 and…

She seems fine. The first thing she did? Was ask for her sucker (which she got at the tractor dealer last night)
I kid you not. The lights were still off, everything.
so.. yeah. I gave it to her, went pee myself and reassessed.

I put HER on the potty with her sucker. Read her a book. Asked her if she wanted a drink.
Got her the drink, and she went pee and tooted a bunch. It seemed like she strained a little bit,
but I asked if she felt good, and she said yes, so I said, yup it feels good to toot sometimes. ( I don’t want her thinking it hurts to go, you know?)

So hopefully, that’s the end of it. As I said earlier, her bottom looked fine. Didn’t see anything
on the toilet tissue other than dampness, so no tinted pee or anything to indicate UTI.

Guess she just really didn’t have to go.


  1. glad she went – and that there was not a sign of irritation. The eating/drinking will cycle as she goes through growth spurts and plateaus. I know it is worrisome – but cut yourself some slack, too!!! You are doing a great job – but it’s nature! Some days we just don’t have to go as much as others!!! 🙂 (unless of course we are pregnant… I don’t envy you that!)

  2. Valerie

    Glad everything seems normal now. And don’t worry about the food thing. Once kids realize they have a mind of their own, they start deciding they no longer like things they used to. Add used to eat salad and spinach, and now he won’t touch the stuff. He also used to like green beans, then he hated them and now we’re back to liking them again. Kids!

  3. Here is my experience with potty training: It’s a confusing nightmare. LOL I think you guys have done awesome! We need to potty train Ezra, but Tim and I just aren’t committed yet. Kind of pathetic. But Ella gave us a really hard time. We’ve learned that she has what I refer to as “a bladder of steel.” We do require that she sits on the potty at night before bed or if we are headed somewhere with no potty and it’s been a long time, but I don’t fight her a lot of other times. The girl is crazy and seems to go like twice a day and I envy her it. I think some kids just have stronger bladders than others. As for eating cycles, my kids definitely go through those as well. It’s totally natural to worry, but in my experience kids usually go through spurts and it’s all okay. :0)

  4. I can’t believe how similar our stories are! I was 4 days late in November too and was disappointed but decided we weren’t ready for a baby. Then the pregnancy in December was a complete surprise!

    What diaper detergent do you use? I had tons of trouble with every kind I tried besides the Bum Genius brand. I don’t even have to strip them anymore. It is exactly the right amount and I never worry about too much or too little. I can’t help much with the potty training stuff, but I think that if she had UTI she would probably have a fever. Those infections are nasty.

    Also, as long as you use a barrier with the cloth diapers, you can use cloth with diaper cream. Is that why you’d have to use disposables? BBZ wears one disposable at night too. If you have an old t-shirt or something that can stand between her bottom and the cloth, you should be able to use the cloth. I’m a crazy worrier too. If she is playing well and acting ok, chances are she probably is 🙂

  5. Stacy Wolfmeyer

    I have no idea if she has any infection, but if you’re worried, better to call the doctor than not. I don’t want my comments to make it sound like I don’t think anything could be wrong. I just don’t know.

    What I DO know is that you are living on the whims of a 2 year old. They are fickle creatures. It doesn’t matter what it is, food, potty habits, favorite toys, they change their minds like mad and there is no reason for it. And sometimes they change them back. Don’t let her new eating and drinking patterns worry you unless she stops growing. They go through stages where they eat like mad (sounds like Keeley has been in that stage for a long time!!) and then it seems like they subsist entirely on whatever it is they decide they’ll eat (with Lauren, I swear all she ate was goldfish crackers for a few months. I’d offer her everything under the sun, but she didn’t want it. ANd I couldn’t let her NOT eat, so that’s what she had. Now that she’s bigger, that’s not how we handle it).

    As for the potty specifically, if you’re trying to let her be independent and responsible for it, encourage her to go in the morning, before bed, and after meals, but don’t stress if she isn’t going . Kids sometimes have the capability to hold it for hours on end, and while it isn’t the best idea, it’s probably one of those choose your battle things. Because chances are, she’ll change her mind about that, too, and start going more often eventually. I told you how when Jacob was 3 and we went to Chicago for a weekend, he refused to use the public potties (or go in a diaper), so he held it the first day for 8 hours, 2nd for 12, and 3rd for 14. THat was an extreme, but he’d go only 3 times a day only if I didn’t get on him to go more. Both my kids went through stretches when they would and then wouldn’t use public potties. ANd they would and then they stopped pooping in the potty. And they were fine at first sitting whenever I asked, but then they were too busy and didn’t want to stop playing to waste their time pottying. She’s just figuring it all out and is completely normal. You are raising her to be an independent little soul, so be prepared for her to exercise that independence, even if you don’t agree with how she does it!

    Don’t beat yourself up about the diapers. You’re working on solving the problem, it’s not your fault you don’t have a water softener, and she’ll be okay. I’m glad to hear there was improvement. It sounds like she’s probably just fine!

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