Thanks for the support everyone.
I can sum this up for you without a bunch of detail. After a 3 hour long discussion with my very sweet, loving husband, this is what we figured out:
I’m dealing with a whiny, demanding, hissy fit throwing, messy, cranky, short and smelly dictator for pretty much the whole time I am awake. Sometimes when I’m asleep. The rules and regulations change every day. What worked yesterday does not work today. She can’t tell me the rules, I’m supposed to just know them. Do I ever get an un-requested thank you? There was that one time she got a bite of pie. Hmm.. yeah that’s it. It’s like having a really asinine boss that you have to deal with because you need the money, and knowing that if you don’t take care of him, no one else will, either, and the company will fold… except there’s no money involved.
In short, my main companion is a fickle 2 year old who won’t play nice and it’s breaking my heart into a million pieces. I have to figure out how to deal with her, without it killing me 24-7. I know one day she’ll grow up, and I should cherish the time, and all of that. I do, I really do. The day to day of a SAHM with an absent dad (totally work related and not begrudged, mind you)…is really hard.
I totally feel for the single moms…
This too will pass, really. I was a SAHM when my children were both under six. My husband sometimes worked to two jobs, and there was a brief occasion he worked three. Even when things run smoothly with children, parenting alone is taxing on the mind and body. Take care.
Being a SAHM is hard, even when Dad is around some, and moreso when he’s not. I hear you and feel your pain. There have been several days since having kids that I felt like a single parent. These last 7 weeks have been another one of those times, and adding the extra child and significantly less sleep is taking a toll on me. Lauren was almost 2 months old when Jacob was Keeley’s age…..we got through it (and it was easier than the year Jacob was 3 and 5), but sometimes I wonder what we were thinking. It does get easier the more they are able to communicate. Of course, then they can say rotten things, too, instead of just yelling. And the whining never quits. At least with Jacob, it’s worse than ever. I remember feeling so guilty over not wanting to be around my kids sometimes. I feel that way now, as I can’t stand Jacob. I truly don’t like my own child the majority of the time. It’s so sad.
This isn’t much of a pep talk, now, is it? I guess the point is, there isn’t really anything I can say or do to make it better – probably nobody really can – but you aren’t alone (well, in body you are, but we’ve most all been there!) and your feelings are normal. It will get better. It’ll then get worse again, and then better. It’s a back and forth thing. I hope she has some better days for you soon, as I know how welcome the break is. I do wish we were closer and could visit each other. Things are definitely better – although temporarily so – with company. Sending you hugs…can you feel them?