It’s pretty much the same thing around here. Food in, dirty diapers out (really nasty ones lately), laundry, dishes, laundry, and rain. Lots and lots of rain. It’s kept us inside, although not necessarily productive. Keeley acts up more when it’s raining out, I think it makes her feel bad, I can relate, it’s not my favorite thing, either.

Since it’s not raining right now (take note, 6:30 pm on Thursday, because THAT will change), Matt is mowing. The mower is sinking into the mud. We need to get the trailer and bring the rider and tractor back to my parents. We are visiting them on Sunday for father’s day. That is, unless mom decides she is fed up with cooking in the basement since her kitchen is still not done, and moves it elsewhere (I even offered here!)

Matt says it’s just another day and we’re about broke so I guess he doesn’t really get a father’s day present this year. Maybe last weekend when he got to do whatever he wanted and I just took care of, well, everything, will count.

Keeley is in bed. She didn’t nap in the afternoon and was throwing a right tantrum (although these days, when she DOESN’T is the miracle) at dinner, so Matt tossed her (gently put her down) in her crib. We came outside. I guess if she wakes up, she’ll have to entertain herself!

It’s peaceful here. We’re stressed, it’s muddy, and we have no money, but it is peaceful here. We’ve had foxes, and deer (including a fawn), rabbits, squirrels, turtles, and a black snake, and tons of bugs and whatnot, come to visit. Can’t forget the owls in daylight, the hawks circling and all the cardinals, bluebirds, and swallows in a 10 mile radius. Can’t forget the stupid raccoons. The neighbors mowed out front and sucked up a turtle’s nest. I was kind of hoping it was a snake hole, but Matt said no, must have been turtles. Bummer. We haven’t seen snapping, just some painted ones, including one Matt put in my truck and ‘rescued’ from the roadside. Wish he’d rescue an ice cream truck!

Being outdoors and playing seems to agree with Keeley. She gets warm pretty quickly, but she doesn’t complain and likes mud and dirt and grass pretty much equally. Okay, okay, I’m lying. She LOVES MUD! She knows where the creek is and tries to get us to go ALL.THE.TIME. We have to keep a sharp eye out on her, because she’s taken off in that direction before. Not sure if she would get that far in the amount of time it takes me to say, pee, so I haven’t tried that yet, but I have gone in to get her or me an item of clothing or a drink and most of the time, she does pretty well at staying close. She’s not independent enough to be outside by herself, of course, but the alternative is taking off both of our sets of shoes and enduring 10 minutes of screaming. I choose 1 minute of  unsupervised play over that. Shrug. The reason it would take 10 minutes of course is that she doesn’t ‘get’ that we’ll only be a minute and she’d fight me tooth and nail to go back out.  I’m starting to teach her to ‘stay where I can see’ her, and typically, she asks before crossing anything that appears to be a barrier, a lump of dirt, dry dirt into mud, gravel into grass, and so on. Overall, I’m trying not to be a worrier.

Matt’s still getting up at 4. I’m going back to sleep for the most part until about 5:15 or 5:30, getting cleaned up and starting my morning routine. Keeley wakes up anywhere from when I’m in the shower to 7:30.  She’s a lighter sleeper in the morning, so I tend to do more ‘loud’ things at night when she’s just crashed and I know she’ll stay asleep, or when she’s up and about for the day. Putting dishes away or washing them, for instance. I always drop something. Morning is a good time for laundry.  It’s a good time for spot cleaning what didn’t get done post-dinner and pre-bed. It’s a good time to just relax for crying out loud.

We’re heading into the 2’s and I sure can tell. I’m trying to take it peacefully and not stress. We’ve had to start discipline in earnest now. It’s not pretty, but when is it ever? She’s learning, we’re learning.  It’s a process.

Other than that, life happens. We’re trying to take the stains as gracefully as the bright whites and enjoy each moment as it comes. That is hard sometimes. Really hard. I think, shouldn’t I being doing this or that? Then I stop and play peek a boo or help with a puzzle, because soon she won’t need me. She’ll play on her own and won’t want my interference. She’ll know that that crayon is orange and that one purple, and that one blue, and won’t need me to tell her. I try and be patient, I try and make things fun.

I feel like I’m still struggling, though. There never seems to be any time for ‘me’. I guess I could be in shaving my legs or doing my toenails, but I’m liking the fresh air and the breeze, and watching my husband go round and round (he’s almost done!) A lot of times it feels like we have to choose between couple time and alone time and we’re choosing alone time in that last hour before bed. It’s not always a good thing, so while Keeley is sleeping, I’m having some me time and maybe we can have some couple time before bed. My husband mentioned something about a program he’s interested in at work before the screaming started at the dinner table, so maybe we can sit and actually talk about it before he’s too tired to think straight.

4 am is awfully early. Speaking of which, I better quit blabbing – that’s life right now.

One Comment

  1. FYI? Three sucks WAY harder than two. I’m just sayin’.

    There always will be a choice between couple time and alone time. There has to be. He can’t be a Daddy/husband 24/7–he needs to be Matt, too. You can’t be Mommy/wife 24/7–you have to be Jill. If we lose sight of who we are outside of our roles as spouses and parents, it’s incredibly hard to get that back. You’ll find the right balance–things for the last few months (or year +) have been REALLY stressful for you guys.

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