I don’t know if anyone’s noticed, but I’ve been a little cranky lately. I’m worried, I’m impatient, and sometimes, I’m a downright downer to read, I suppose. Thank you for all your support.
The long and short of it is that I’m ready for our family to be on its own. Not have to worry about making too much noise, or that someone else would, or that we’ll get evicted (not of our own doing, of course, but out of pure, what, insanity on someone else’s part?)…I’m tired of worrying, and I’m ready to be happy.
I feel, trapped, though. There’s nothing I can do right now to speed up the process, and one day follows the next. I wanted a house before the baby was born, before the baby was crawling, before the baby turned a year old, before Christmas, and now it may be New Year’s, who knows? All I know is that I am ready to be happy.
I’m ready to plan a garden (see Fun Monday for what I might include!!!), I’m ready to watch my baby wade in the creek, and figure out how to get sand off of her feet without carrying it across the whole house and evenly salting the area that I’ll have to clean up later. I’m ready to purge everything I own to get down to just what I love, cherish and want to take forward with us into a new life. Ban the clutter, batten down the hatches, and so on and so forth. I want to plant bulbs to have tulips greet us in the spring, and get some concrete poured to stick baby handprints in with a date and initials. (And then figure out how to get that off before it sets!)
So far we have checked all the boxes, gotten our credit in line, gotten the husband a reasonably exciting car that he can still drive to work every day for that long commute. The winters here are not quite as bad as expected, so even snow or ice doesn’t worry me overmuch (and once we have a back up generator, I will worry even less about that)… Yes, I will have a mortgage to worry about, but I am used to bills, bills get paid, and eventually work themselves out. That, I am great at planning out. What I hate is what I can’t plan for, can’t work out, can’t schedule.
I know I’m not the only one. Does having a baby add to the stress, of course it does. Is it holding me back? No, I might have to adjust my schedule of obsessing about house plans a little bit (ever tried to keep a 9 month old off of a laptop keyboard? Hmm. try it sometime…) but I will eventually get everything worked out. Or it will work itself out, one way or the other…I have great things to look forward to. Please excuse the crankiness as we slowly make it downriver, so to speak to our final destination. Please also enjoy a picture so sweet it could make your teeth ache. Also ignore the glare on the filing cabinet (note to new parents, it makes an AWESOME bass drum!) You’re welcome!
Ahh Sweetheart, we all go through times like that! And even once we get one “fire” sorted there are more to come along. Life! But we all get through. 🙂