Hoosier Girl over at The Coffee Table wants to know: what do you consider important to a good marriage or relationship? Tell us a story of something endearing about your marriage or your parents’ marriage. Include any wedding pictures or images of love that remind you of what a good relationship should be.
Okay, I’ve only been married shy of 8 years, but here’s what I’ve learned: There are many myths, one of them is ‘love means never having to say you’re sorry’ another is ‘never go to bed angry’ — sometimes you just have to go to sleep and see how it is in the morning. And communication, including apologies, is a key component. Even if you have to send your spouse an email, because you’re too angry or frustrated to speak your mind clearly, after all, you can’t hit backspace when you’re talking out loud, it’s better than ignoring the elephant in the room. You know what happens when you ignore the elephant? There’s elephant crap all over the floor and someone gets hurt.�
There are a few truths, though: The Golden Rule, and dancing in your living room every once in a while, and if it won’t matter in 5 years, just talk about it and get over it. The best truth, though, my mom told me before I got married: If you picture your life without (your spouse) and it would be better, then it’s not the right thing, but if you try to picture it and you can’t imagine life without (your spouse) then you are doing the right thing.
If you’ve been following me a while, or been playing Fun Monday, you know my love story. My own parents have been married 40 years. They are a continuous reminder of how you just ‘shake it off and step up’ – (there was a story of an old donkey who fell in a hole and the farmer couldnt get him out, so he shoveled dirt on top of him, intending to bury him, well the old donkey just shook it off and stepped up on top of it, and soon he was out of the hole) – yes, there have been hard times, but they make me see how it’s all worth sticking it out in the end. These days it seems all too easy just to give up, but seeing them lets me know that love can exist in turbulent times.