Last week I kind of glossed over one of my resolutions. The forgive and forget one. You know, leaving the past behind. This is where facebook comes into the picture. There were some kids, that were, let’s just say, really awful to me in school, because I wasn’t born ‘where they were, I didn’t belong there’ –nevermind that I was born less than an hour away from them on the interstate, that didn’t count. From that day forward, I was an outcast. Nevermind AGAIN that they attended the same Sunday School I did and was hearing the same lessons about kindness to strangers and those less fortunate that I was.
From making fun of me on a daily basis to threatening me with a beat down when I complained that their relative was sekually (spelled wrong on purpose) harassing me, I was on the ‘hit list’. The one time someone did something bad to these people, I told them I was sorry for them. They rounded on me and said they knew I was personally responsible. Umm, really? Considering I found out about the ‘event’ shall we say when I stepped off of the school bus on a Monday morning (I did not have a car or money, and it would have taken a car, money, and quite a bit of leverage for me, to have gotten it done, and quite frankly, I wasn’t that mean, and if I had money, I wouldn’t have spent it on that.) I won’t say I didn’t snark privately about these kids, over and over again over the years…and they have had a large influence on my life. They became an example of what not to do with my life. For a long time, I shuddered at returning ‘home’ lest I see these people. I have found that in recent years, it isn’t worth it. In college, one of my good friends, Alissa told me that it was ‘their problem’ not mine and to forget them. I wondered how she could be so blase about it all. Until I had a baby, and you know a lot of that doesn’t matter much anymore-here’s my most recent thoughts on the subject.
Fast forward to present day. I know for a fact that one of these kids is on facebook, because their name had replied to someone else’s photo. I didn’t care much about the person, but I found it odd that I couldn’t see their profile. I laughed and told my husband ‘I think this person blocked me on facebook, isn’t that hilarious?’ My husband said, ‘nah you’re just imagining it, use my account and friend them, it’s probably not them’, so I went ahead and did it. Turns out, I was right, my HUSBAND could see it, but they had blocked me from finding out about them. Umm, really? You harassed me from day one in Kindergarten, treated me like crap and made pretty much the whole school that would listen believe I was an awful person (here’s a hint for my readers, I’m pretty much the same now as I was then, but more sarcastic and jaded, do I seem evil to you?) and they’re blocking ME like I’m going to do something to THEM? A HA HA! HA HA HA! Get with it girlfriend. YOU DON’T MATTER THAT MUCH TO ME!
I’m sorry someone scarred you enough as a child to think that anyone not born in ‘town next door’ but ‘town 2 doors down’ was awful and that you took it to heart and hated me from that day forward. I’m also sorry someone finally did something bad to you in high school, and that you thought it was me and even though I told you it wasn’t, you probably still hold it against me. I don’t find that it’s worth it to set you straight. As my friend said, it’s your problem, and I can see that very clearly now. I forgive you. Forgetting? Eh, that may take a while longer.
Jill, Just dropping in to check in on you and your accountability! 😉 You had your post up before I even did!
About the forgiving and forgetting thing? It’s hard. I had similar experiences to you in jr. high, and even though those people really don’t matter in the long run, the scars they inflected last a lifetime. Good for you for being able to forgive…with time, you will forget too. 😉
Astounding. What small minded people.
I’m sorry, because I know that old scars still hurt. I have a few of my own.
Hey Lil M., can you email me at the dish if I can’t hunt down your email (doing taxes today so a little crazed). The M&Ms guy wants to mail you some candy for the contest. Glad, cuz everyone liked your answer so much.
Forgive and forget is one of the hardest things – well, the forgetting part especially!!!
I hated high school and can only hope my children can get through it without too many scars!
I’m constantly astounded at how many small minded folks never move past grade school or high school. I saw it at my 25th high school reunion and just had to laugh. Interestingly, you’re not alone on this Facebook thing. I’ve heard other folks mention the blocking issue they’ve had with old schoolmates. Too funny. Glad you have the right attitude about it.
shaking head… shaking head. sigh.