Okay, maybe some of the more experienced mommies that read this blog can help me out here. My husband as we’re crawling into bed tells me that his company offers reduced tickets for a nearby theme park. I said, sure that would be great when Keeley is about 7 (and she can ride the rides). He insists that we should go (all 3 of us) this summer with his buddy, wife and 8 year old. I told him that I’d love for him to go, but that I didn’t think it was a good idea for Keeley and I to go.
Why? He wanted to know. Well, for one thing I don’t want to have to drag her around a theme park looking for a place to breastfeed her (he didn’t even let me get to the points that she shouldn’t be out in the sun that long, that hauling around a huge diaper bag, and the fact that I HATE theme parks)…he turned around and basically attacked me and said that there was no way of knowing if I would still be breastfeeding her then. I said, well that was the plan, and he said, you can’t guarantee that’s going to happen (or something to that affect, that may not be the exact words)—and I said, well that was the plan. I tried to reassure him, tell him it would be fine if he wanted to go, and he cut me off. I tried again, and he basically gave me the proverbial cold shoulder, rolled over and acted like he was going to sleep.
Did I not do everything possible to make it okay for him to go without me? (seeing as the last time I went to any type of park I had to hold everyone else’s stuff and I can’t see holding everyone else’s wallets, keys, and etc. when I already will have a diaper bag and an 8ish month old to deal with)–I didn’t get a full chance to explain my feelings. My opinion didn’t matter. Basically he acted like I was ruining even the idea of it for him, so he didn’t want to hear about it. I personally don’t know many people that would take a baby out in the sun for hours at a time, especially if it was something they absolutely hated to do and had had bad experiences with. That also doesn’t include the notion of the ‘adults’ standing in line for an adults only ride for 3 hours while I watch someone else’s 8 year old and try to figure out how to diaper and breastfeed a baby in public while doing that.
So what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Did I not offer a reasonable alternative, considering the park is in the town we live in now? Should I really pay $30-$50 for a ticket of which I will get absolutely no use?
Yes, I will get in trouble for this. My husband reads the blog every day and will probably hate me for it. But, whatever. At this point, I’m tired of all the ‘I can’t do this’s’ that I’ve had to hear lately. It’s like I’m holding him back, I don’t ever let him do anything he wants to do. He really wanted a baby, but I think my judgment on what we should and shouldn’t do while she is a baby is REALLY cramping his style. He’s a good dad, but I feel like he never thought this whole part of it through. Like, I may have to stay home sometimes if he wants to do that sort of thing, and he’ll have to lump it. Meanwhile, every time I see something mentioned that I know he would like, like monster trucks or whatever, I tell him, HEY you should take so and so or see if anyone from work wants to go. I try SO HARD to make it ‘okay’ that I have to stay home and can’t go, but he would rather stay home and be sad about not going, and make me feel guilty on top of it, like I purposefully had a baby so that we couldn’t go to a theme park or monster trucks. At this point, I feel like I gave a reasonable alternative and had he taken 15 seconds to think about it instead of acting like I was a spoilsport, he’d have realized that his daughter’s welfare (and my sanity) is probably worth a bit more, and he’d have a lot better time without me. Maybe it was just the time of day, and maybe I’m just cranky. But really? Am I being unreasonable?
Note: Now my husband says he was just kidding and was trying to get me to talk to him, at 10 pm when I was trying to go to bed. And that this just served to make him look like a jerk. Apparently, I didnt see the joke in it. And he didnt tell me it was a joke, so.. I was left to believe that he was serious. I asked him very politely that if I don’t get a joke in the future to let me in on it. Because, obviously I’m exhausted and don’t find a lot funny.