Fun Monday — Neighbors from the Fiery Depths

Ari from Beyond my Slab is the hostess for Fun Monday, she wants to know: Tell us about your all-time worst Neighbors from Hell. You know, the family of Irish clog dancers who once lived in the flat/apartment above you? Mrs. Nextdoor and her banshee-like multiple orgasms? Mr. and Mrs. Hard-of-Hearing with their television on full blast? The guys across the street who set off 4th of July fireworks starting in March and didn’t stop until the first real snowfall?

We had 2 bad neighbors, one on each side when we lived in Iowa. One of them was a single mom with a little boy who was too annoying for his age. Not sure how old he was, but my guess is that he acted a lot younger than he was. When we moved in, the lady told us to go ahead and use her parking spot to unload our stuff. She had a sister (see where this is going?) who told us in no uncertain terms that she didn’t think her sister would appreciate us blocking her car in and that we should move. That was nice. Thanks for bitching at us instead of offering to help us. We were in fact about 10 minutes from moving the damn thing anyway. Then the little boy? Liked to peep in our window. Also? Instead of going out their sliding glass door to their own little slab of concrete, they’d walk out their front door and cut across our slab to go play in ‘their’ backyard, which ended up being playing right in front of our door intstead of in their own area. Lovely. I finally put up a little fence so that they not only HAD to walk around us instead of cutting across, but also the boy had a harder time pressing his nose against the glass to peep in (yes, it actually happened)…

Then after they moved some people who kept to themselves moved in. Awesome. Then the neighbors on the other side moved and a couple with a little girl moved in on the other side. She actually was old enough to know NOT to come up onto our patio, and I didnt know this at the time, but she did sit and stare at my husband while he was sitting on the computer. She didn’t stare at me. I was pissed because she kept chasing off the squirrels, rabbits, and birds that we had worked so hard to get friendly so we could watch them play every day. I finally stepped out and said something and apparently her mom was outside, she at least was staying in her own yard to watch her kid play in ours. The running after the animals slowed down after that. Also? She’d come into our yard and stand in full view and lean over and pull grass up. Like she was rabid for pulling up grass. She also would sing ‘If you want my body and you think I’m sexy’, and she was like 8. I’m sure it was from the stupid cookie commercial, but still, very disturbing.

Listen, I know kids are weird, but seriously? Stay in your own yard and pull up your own grass, stare at your own family members, and don’t cut across other people’s private property when you have a perfectly good door out to your own backyard that you could be using.


  1. Gosh those sound like two obnoxious kids, the first is just plain creepy but an eight year old pulling up grass in a neighbour’s garden…? That’s just plain rude. And that’s before we get on to the staring!

    Thanks for sharing your neighbours from hell with us this Fun Monday.

  2. I’m always amazed at the things some parents allowed their children to do. I would have been mortified if my children had treated the neighbours like that- actually they wouldn’t have because I taught them to be respectful which is where these parents were failing!

  3. you have to have a license to repair televisions but not to raise children.
    (not that I’m saying we should have to have a license — I’m just saying that not everyone should be parenting)

  4. if you are friendly to kids and explain them what you want, it usually works very well. I never had troubles with any kid, not even with “menacing” teenagers !

  5. I can’t get over the fact that the mother was actually watching the daughter do it! Hello?!? Does anyone discipline their kids anymore?

  6. Lovely. Just lovely.

    oh, and tag! On November 30th I posted a Christmas meme and tagged a bunch of people. You’re one. No obligation, but wanted to make sure everyone I tagged knows about it.

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