I have to say, my hubby has made quite a change in the last few months. Not that he hasn’t always been a good guy, but it’s kind of like when I had my appendix out, he didn’t quite hover, but he was always trying to make sure I was okay, doing things for me. That’s how he’s been with the pregnancy. The rounder I get, the more he offers a hand up from the floor (don’t ask why I sit on the floor, I just do), etc. Which is really nice. I appreciate it, and in exchange I try and keep him as happy as possible, do as much for him as I can. This includes encouraging him to do things without me, that don’t focus on the baby, buying him beer and special snacks that I won’t eat — without him asking for it, and just in general making him feel like he’s still central to my life.
He’s also been helpful with his buddy. This is a holiday weekend, and my hubby has spent a lot of it over at his bud’s house, scraping and most likely today, painting this guy’s house. We know his wife, have only met a few times, but really like her. Which is nice. She lives in PA, unfortunately and is in med school, so, we only see her when she can get rounds in this area. Needless to say, we remember what it is like to be young and newly married (also have done the long distance thing), and I figure if him spending some time over there male bonding with beer and paint fumes will not only fill his ‘burp and fart’ needs, but help out his bud, and the wife of course will get a nice surprise when she is back (which I think is next month), then I’m all for it. I know I can’t be everything to him and I’m really glad he feels like he can do his own thing and not worry about me.
I have to admit, I haven’t always been like this. As a newlywed, I was very protective of my hubs and the time he spent with anyone else. I was jealous because I wasn’t sure that all in all he’d love me forever and ever, and that any time he spent with anyone else meant that he’d find something ‘better’. Now I’m smart enough to know that he WON’T find anything better. Oh and he told me flat out that he wasn’t jealous of me and that I better get used to trusting him. In a serious tone of voice. Needless to say, I guess that kind of changed my mind. That and time. We were both young and inexperienced as newlyweds. I just had to get in my groove and figure out this whole wife thing. It took back and forth conversations, and actual work, of course to get it figured out. It helps that we’re honest with each other and I think all in all that’s made this whole pregnancy thing very simple to deal with.
Yes, I have had symptoms, yes, he’s had to deal with me snapping at him once or twice and tears rolling down my face during GAC master’s series on tv, but all in all, his positive attitude, willingness to admit when he’s wrong and say he’s sorry, has made it go pretty smoothly. No worse than we’ve ever dealt with in ‘real life’ (because we all know pregnancy is not anything close to real life). There’s been no overt insanity, no midnight pickle and ice cream runs, no huge fights. Really, it’s been, calm. Which is kind of funny. I figured that pregnancy would be so up and down and left and right and turning in circles, but really it’s been more like a pleasant stroll in the park, emotion wise. All in all, I’ve had a fabulous man to hold my hand, whisper ‘chocolate ice cream’ in my ear and tell me how much he can’t wait to meet the baby. Who could ask for anything more?