I keep telling myself, it’s only a dream. A bad, bad dream, but nonetheless, a dream. I was prepared for vivid dreams, I was prepared for ‘something happened to the baby’ dreams–which I’ve had a couple of. I was even prepared for wild, trashy dreams like other women seem to have when they are pregnant. Do I have those? No. Of course not.
I have dreams that my smoke-allergic, very occasional drinker husband, is not only smoking (while I am trapped in the vehicle with him), but trashed out of his mind, driving, mind you, and talking about illicit drug-ridden countries and people that come from them like they’re his best friends. The worst part was the fact that it didn’t seem like he even cared. Not about me, not about the baby, not about the fact that we were both trapped there with him, but not about himself either.
Of course this is totally wrong, improbable and impossible, but still, it left me shaken up as I woke up and tried to get it out of my head. I’m still a little freaked out, although taking a few minutes to hold him and hear his heartbeat and just be in his presence helped a little bit, and feeling the baby move inside me, safe and sound was reassuring, it still gives me the heebie jeebies. Shudder.
What dreams have you had?