Don’t Ask Unless You Really Want To Know…

Okay, here’s the set up, we were in line at the UPS package store, with this little old lady in front of us. She was asking about this and that, and finally, she said, what am I signing? The guy, his name was Fred, rattles off this list…

“well, what you’re signing is something saying you won’t ship anything dangerous, like explosives, human remains, alcohol, perfume, stuff like that”…

at that point, I started to giggle and had to turn around… AND THEN! She said, “HUMAN REMAINS! You mean you CAN’T send ASHES?!?”

she HAD to ask… “well do people have to go get them then?!?”….so Fred replied…

“well I’ve gotten in trouble for what some other people have tried to slip through here, if someone does it, we all get in trouble. But usually I send them (customers) down to the main distribution center”

lady: “you can send them through there, then” and Fred says “well I dont know, I send them down there, I’m not sure if they get through there or not”…

somewhere in this time my husband has also turned around, our faces both beet red, holding back the laughter. She left and then we conducted our business and left, before the door closed, we were both laughing again… some questions that arose…

-What kind of human remains would you like to send UPS?
-Can you send them through the Post office instead?
-What if you send an animal’s remains.. does that count?
-What if it’s for a science project, you know like a scientific skull?
-If you soak them in alcohol and disguise it with perfume, does that count?

for whatever reason, that really tickled my funny bone. She was kind of indignant, and Fred was kind of blithe so it was a perfect foil. I wanted the t-shirt “I’m SO going to blog about this later”…

4 Comments

  1. I just love earwigging on conversations like these~ very amusing. I also love the questions kids ask in the supermarket line~ you can feel the parent squirm trying to find a suitable answer. I saw a child pick up a box of condoms and ask if they were plasters(band aids)~ the kid never did get a proper answer haha 🙂

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