It’s Time..the Open Letter to Britney

Dear Brit,

I can understand that you may be somewhat remiss in your fashion sense due to growing up with your barely covered ass promoted all over the place, but as a mommy and a grown woman, shocking but true, no one wants to see your ass anymore. Please cover it. And all other jigglies as such you possess. Here’s some simple steps to getting dressed as to no longer torture the rest of us with your cheeks.

Step 1: Put on the clothes you want to wear today.
Step 2: Look in mirror. Do you look cute? Fine.
Step 3: Bend over facing the mirror. Can we see your nipples or even most of your breasts? Please put on a camisole underneath what you’re wearing and try again. Great.
Step 4: Bend over perpendicular to the mirror. Can we see your ass? Put on underwear. Can we still see your ass? Put on leggings, tights, or pants underneath your too short dress.

Better? Good. Oh, yeah, don’t forget your wig and to pay your nannies. It’s time to parade your kids outside wearing a decent amount of clothing. Don’t be alarmed if people don’t look at you. Didnt you say you wanted some privacy? Okay, now you’re ready to be a real woman.

The one who’s tired of having to hear about or accidentally look at your ASSets on the internet, tv, and every other conceivable place.


  1. That was really funny. I’m sorry but she is so immature and I feel sorry for her children if she doesn’t get her act together soon she risks loosing them (that’s if one can believe all that’s written by the press).

  2. She has become so trashy. Before she was controversial, just like Madonna, now she’s just tacky and gross. I really wish she’d grow up already and stop being a skank.

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