I recently was going through pictures of my youngest – and realize he was NOT a smiley baby…he always had a serious expression and was trying to figure out what his brother and sister were doing.

When my threshold for caring is low…I refer to it as “my give a shit factor is hovering around….I DON’T!”

I rolled my car when I was 16. Totally my fault and I’ve always owned that. That feeling has NEVER left me. The images of the seconds before the accident and during the accident still flash in my brain. The sound of the accident–tires screeching, metal slamming into pavement five times still echo in my ears. If I go into a corner a little faster than I should, I literally brace myself–I grab onto the center console, my left leg gets stiff as it straightens out beneath the dash and my stomach drops. It will never leave me. Rolling a vehicle five times and coming to rest, literally, a handful of inches from a HUGE tree will never leave. Neither will knowing that a car coming in the opposite direction came around the corner just as my car landed on three wheels (one snapped right off). Had I been seconds later (or they earlier), I’d have hit them head on (ironically enough, they were friends with my parents).

A year or so later, I was rear ended by a driver doing 45mph. I was at a dead stop (as were the two cars in front of me). I hit the one in front of me and he the one in front of him. THAT feeling of seeing a vehicle approaching in the rear view at an alarming speed has also stayed with me. I find myself always looking for an out–always leaving more than one car length in front of me–just in case.

I was incredibly lucky that the roll over left me with a few bruises (and a hurt ego) and a knee injury that, still, bothers me. It could’ve been SO much worse. The rear ending accident was a busted radiator in my car (from hitting the trailer hitch on the truck in front of me) and a sore neck. Lessons were learned and I have been a much better defensive driver.

Sweet shit…where was I going with this?! Damned if I know…seeing as I’ve gotten up twice to referee arguments with the kids, my train of thought has left the station and probably won’t ever return.

Just know I get it–I get SO much of what you say. I do.