1. Let me break it to you now, in case no one else has done so.

    You’ve already messed up. More than once. And even though you know it, and don’t want to, you’re going to do it again. And again. Because parenthood.

    I think what you said about your parents doing the best they could is relevant here. I think most of us do exactly that. The best we can.

    You have to make the decisions for your family based on YOUR family. No one else can do it, and if you put that responsibility on someone else, they’d screw it up anyway. You see, they don’t love your children the way you do. They don’t KNOW them the way you do.

    One of my oldest friends and I had a conversation on FB this week via PM. And I’m gonna paste in here what I said to her…. keep in mind that her children are grown, too. Her youngest is about to graduate high school, so maybe not totally grown. And she’s still worrying about doing motherhood right.


    Isn’t it funny how when you think about having a baby, you think about having a baby.
    A warm, dampish bundle you nestle into the side of your neck and feel that glow of love and marvel at how deep your heart really is?

    And you get them past the stage where you have to constantly live in fear that they will die from SIDS that you say to yourself, “After I get past this stage, I won’t have to worry anymore.”

    And then you learn that you do have to worry. That every waking moment, your children are in the front of your consciousness. Forever. And you don’t want it to be any other way… that love you felt for the helpless infant in your arms just… grows. Forever. And with that love comes anguish and worry and anger and frustration and the fear that you’re not doing enough, that you can never do enough and what if you screw up and ruin them for life and what if they blame you for it all when all you were trying to do is love them.

    Parenthood ain’t for sissies. It’s just that we don’t realize it until we’re already committed.

    Know that what you’re doing for your kids and your love for them is a wonderful thing and that you’re a good mom.


    I really have nothing else to add.
    You’re doing fine, you know.

  2. Brava! Who cares what other people think? It’s really all about how you feel you should raise your kiddos (I have run into a store with my son in the car). Let’s start a club for parents who don’t give a damn what others think! Keep up the great work!

  3. What Ami said!!!! My son is 15 now. I’m not sure how that happened. The vaccines didn’t kill him or make him autistic. Eating dirt in the driveway didn’t kill him. Some kid in preschool knocking him over didn’t kill him. Me swatting his butt more than once or dope-slapping him from time to time hasn’t left any scars. He ate candy and hot dogs and junk from McDonalds (until he grew up and knew better) and the kid is pushing 6 feet – no stunted growth here. He is polite and kind, works hard when he needs to and is lazy when he can be. I know that I did all kinds of things wrong and a few things right and still he grew up and became a real person. I say, listen to your gut about how to raise your children. Know your limits and theirs. No one else has that knowledge and no one else can tell you how to do it. From what I see, you’re doing fine.

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