Lately, I feel like all I do is sit fences. One foot on one side. One foot on the other. Listening to the rodeo on one side, and the audience on the other. Sure there’s all manner of each type of folk-from clown (shudder) to gentry. I just don’t know enough about any one topic to make any sort of decision, let alone an educated one with resources (that are viable) to back me up.
I know people that vaccinate. People that don’t. People that still believe it causes autism (although THAT at least was proven wrong). People that believe in herd immunity and don’t vaccinate themselves, or that have a family heritage with GB syndrome and so they don’t. But we have easily avoidable diseases running rampant through our area. Things Casey could get easily, because she’s too young for the immunization. I want to be really angry at this ADULT who is not vaccinated…and even more so when you realize that by the time THEY realize they’re infected it’s been nearly a month and we all know how far most people get in a month. What they touch, sneeze on, wipe, and whether they wash their hands often enough (probably not)….so whoever they’ve been in contact with.. you guessed it, if they’re not vaccinated either… and so on and so on.. we all remember the scary STD chart, right? Except you don’t choose to get some of these diseases by hooking up at the high school, you get them through someone else’s else’s else’s…snot…or whatever. It’s like Mumps rape. (Can’t wait to see if anyone ever searches for that term)….
I know people that farm and love GMO’s. People that discovered GMO’s have made them sick and refuse to eat them. It’s good for business. It’s bad for your gut. Is it bad for the kids?!? We don’t know.
Homeschooling. Public school. We can’t afford private school. People saying ‘but why don’t you home school her’ and not from the blog world.. people that meet my 5 year old.. saying it’s a shame I don’t do it at home.. ugh. If you could see the all out brawls we’ve been in over doing a handful of math problems. I can’t see doing that for 13 years. Three months was bad enough.
Spank, don’t spank. Breastfeed or formula.
For the love of God don’t leave your kids or animals in the car, even to step out to get the mail. What if you fell down? What if I fell down inside my house? Same difference. Except people are a lot more likely to find me on the road than in my house. I’ve even seen those that advocate to immediately smash a window. Several times I’ve pointed out that a door might be unlocked and the person 5 feet away. That does nothing to change their minds, but maybe someone else reading? Can I get a ‘yeah’ for common sense and common decency? Check the doors, ya’ll.
All these things make me question my own parenting. Am I really a bad parent for running back in to get the reusable grocery bags and not taking ALL THREE KIDS out of the vehicle and having them walk with me? Does a swat on the tush automatically make kids a monster? So far although my siblings and I are ornery from time to time we all managed to get an education of a level, hold down jobs if we want one, have families, etc. No monsters there. I sit paranoid when the kids have their first vaccines. What if it gives them.. oh yeah that was a lie… but what if it’s true (I hope somehow that eventually gets out of our subconscious, because it really messes with my head)….what am I feeding organic, not. Do I even wash the apples? Sometimes… no. The mommy wars all just pervade my sense of everything until I can’t see what end is up…
….and I wonder.. am I doing it all wrong? Am I making all the wrong choices? Will my kids come back on me and say WHY.. WHY…
but when I think about it.. I don’t think so.
My parents did whatever they thought was best at the time. I doubt their decisions were swayed much by other people. There was no world wide web. No chat rooms or at least none that could share gossip from thousands of miles away. Back then you actually had to pour the other person coffee from your own coffee pot. Their parents? I doubt there was much fence sitting there either. Just work, sun up to sun down. Before that? Forget it…they definitely didn’t have indoor plumbing and Lord only knows if they had electricity run to the house or not. No one knows and no one much cares. It’s ancient history after all… I’m not sure when minding your own business became hard to do. When a mom could have a glass of wine and breastfeed and she wasn’t labeled bad. When a swat on the tush didn’t mean that everyone on the planet called DCFS and took your kids away. When people made their own biscuits and didn’t worry that actual animal fat was used. As the song goes ‘I miss back when’….there was no fence sitting. Because taking a stance someone disagreed with didn’t make you a bad parent. It just meant you did things differently that’s all…and fewer arse splinters, too.